05 Sep Selichot; Prayers for Forgiveness and Mercy – Yom Tov

Some may say ‘Progress Not Perfection’….
Jewish Wisdom teaches ‘Progress Toward Perfection’…
To achieve greatness aim high, don’t lower the bar.

Selichot; Prayers for Forgiveness and Mercy

The most effective and meaningful amends and ones personal growth of character-midos,
comes  from a searching inventory – a cheshbon hanefesh of ourselves. Elul, now, is that time.

During the year, and during Selichot and Yom Tov, when we ‘say out loud’ the Vidue – Confession, we are creating a new reality through our speech in much the same way as ‘Hashem Created the Universe with speech’. This recognition and  admission of our transgressions through our speech is the beginning of our tshuvah. These confessions of transgressions may be applicable to the abused Laws of Derogatory or Evil Speech aka  Loshen Hora, or any number of laws we may have transgressed. We have all contributed to  transgressing these laws at some point, either individually or collectively.

The idea behind asking or giving forgiveness is to make it possible to have a better relationship. One must acquire the traits of Humility, Honesty, Sincerity, Compassion and Acceptance as these are of the greatest character traits to strive for in the process of tshuvah (the return to a pure state of spiritual connection).

When asking for forgiveness a person should of course be sincere in his regret of his transgression. He should also share that he has stopped doing the transgressions,  and has a plan to help him continue his process of tshuvah… Tshuvah is a process. It is advisable to check with an expert (LOR-Rabbi) to ensure successful tshuvah.

When granting forgiveness, it should be known that forgiveness cannot unreasonably be withheld. You have become a vehicle for an others tshuvah, his chance to become elevated. As the one who forgives , there is great mitzvah, accordingly there is obligations that also come with a person in that position. First and foremost, the one who forgives must be humble to ‘receive’ another to recognize the sincerity of another; If they are sincere, if they stopped the transgressive behaviour , if they have a plan for ‘wellness’ (which in some cases may include financial compensation),  then there is no reason to withhold forgiveness.  Where you are unclear, check with an expert LOR-Rabbi).

The ‘program of tshuvah’ (as taught by Maimonides, The Rambam in Hilchos Tshuva) as prescribed by Jewish Wisdom has had a far reaching effect on the world. Millions have been helped by the 12 Step programs that contains Torah Wisdom as found in Hilchos Tshuva -Rambam.  We can see the strong correlation of the Rambams Tsuvah as it appears in the first step of the 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is ;

‘We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or for other issues one may insert  any other damaging substances or behaviors; anger, lust, PC, cell phone), and our lives became unmanageable’.
Whether the program of Jewish Wisdom as Tshuva or the 12 Steps of AA,  to begin the process of change-thshuvah  a person must Recognize and  Admit (vidue) their problem (transgression) and Stop engaging in that behavior. In this simple statement of admission , a person creates a new life reality through recognition,  admission, humility, sincerity, honesty, and begins developing a realization with  ‘a Being beyond  ones self ‘ which  is more powerful and greater  than the ‘ME’.., that being is Infinite.., that Being is G-d.

It is very important to know that although we have admitted our wrongs and asked for forgiveness and mercy, this is only the beginning of the process of tshuvah. A person is then required to follow through with the necessary changes (check with an expert to be guided in these matters)  in his life in order to ensure that transgressions are not repeated. Only then is ones tshuvah considered to  be ‘complete‘.

Shona Tova

Leib Getzel (Lawrence) Lax
Addictions and Counseling (Honors)
www.lawrencelax.com